Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Why me?

We have had very many happy times here and with our alpacas and other animals but just now they are getting increasingly hard to remember.  More sadness today which is making me wonder what on earth I am doing here.  I seem to be having bad alpaca times at the moment and have got into a bit of a pit where it feels like only me and everyone else is doing really well which makes me wonder if I am cut out for this.

Cassie tried to give birth in thunder, rain, hail and a brisk wind today.  Within an hour the head was out but no feet and the head did not look right - not deformed in any way but white, blind eyes and patches of fleece missing.  Half an hour later the neck was coming but no feet.  I called her and she followed me down to the barn and Sam and I took turns to get up to our elbows inside trying to locate legs -  great chunks of fleece kept rubbing off and coming out on our arms.  Finally, we discovered it was in a kush position with one back leg forward and somehow it's bottom end curled forward.  I managed to push the head almost back in and Sam managed to get the front legs forward.  Finally it emerged but very dead - no amount of swinging, blowing, tickling, rubbing made any difference.  I think it had been dead some time and it was fairly bald.  A good size brown boy, perfectly formed but eyes looked not developed and fleece coming off.  Afterbirth was huge and complete but odd - looked like it was dead if such a thing is possible.

Cassie didn't take much notice of the cria but was quite attached to the afterbirth - I had to remove that though but have left her with her baby for now.

I think I had best retire from the blog until I have more positive events - the way things are going it could be a while!


  1. All my life l've struggled with death....!
    No! Not in people, family or friends...But, animals in general...And, me a grown man...!!!!
    But, l always remember one thing...
    "Learn From Yesterday, Live For To-day, and, Hope For Tomorrow".

  2. Sorry to read this Rosemary. I do know how you feel, remember what a dreadful year we had here last year, it seemed to be one horrid experience after another...but the year did end much happier than it began...I do hope that you also have a much better time from now on. xx

  3. I really feel for you Rosemary, we have had those bad times too in the past and I know exactly what you are feeling, I felt the same, but you get through it.
    Stay strong and think of the good times, they will return.
    Lots of hugs.

  4. Oh Rosemary, we are all feeling for you and hoping that something good soon happens to overtake the sadness. I think that everyone who blogs has times like this but many don't tell anyone, prefering to keep their blogs full of good things! We too are having our share of alpaca sadness but it won't show when I blog as I just can't face writing it down at the moment. Please keep posting as we all want to see you through this and back to your funny, bouncy blogging!

  5. Rosemary I also know how you feel, we lost our first three cria this year and I was ready to throw in the towel. I still haven't fully recovered but when you sit amongst your herd and see what you have you will find the inner strength to carry on. They need you and if you're like me, you need them.

  6. So sorry to hear of your sad loss, its never easy and I am sure many of us can't relate to how you are feeling. I think we all question why did it happen to me? why am I doing this? and know how sad, lonely and isolated you feel. But there are happier days around the corner and I hope they come to you very, very soon.